


Anya: Make another step

by annathecrow



Series: We're gonna save the world together (again) [1]
Category: Marvel (Comics), Nomad: Girl Without a World, Onslaught Unleashed, Young Allies (Marvel)
Genre: F/F, Female Friendship, Ficlet, Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, Introspection, Second-Person Narrative
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 22:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2828099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annathecrow/pseuds/annathecrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the first few days it doesn’t really stick. You keep thinking “I gotta tell this to Rikki” and then you realize, you won’t, you can’t, not any more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anya: Make another step

In the first few days it doesn’t really stick. You keep thinking “I gotta tell this to Rikki” and then you realize, you won’t, you can’t, not any more.

You didn’t even know how many times a day you thought of her before... before.

 

“Would you say you were very close?” your therapist asks. We worked together, you want to say. We were friends. We almost got killed together more times than I can remember. We sat on the roof, pretending we’re patrolling, and teased each other about our superhero crushes. I knew her favorite ice cream flavor and that darning her uniform was her least favorite part of being a superhero.

Nothing comes from your mouth. Nothing really sounds right.

 

You’re buying shampoo when you accidentally get a whiff of the brand Rikki used. Your nose is full of the familiar honey-and-butter smell and your knees don’t want to hold you upright anymore. Another customer eyes you suspiciously when they see you sitting on the floor between the shelves of beauty supplies, choking down sobs.

 

Every time you meet one of them - Captain America, Wonder-Man, Ant-Man, Hawkeye - you have to grit your teeth to not question them: “Why you? Why did you come back, when everybody I loved stays dead?”

 

You’re so angry. You’re angry at Rocky and her dad for tiptoeing around you, trying to give you space. You’re angry at the other superheroes for not caring at all, even though you know most of them have never even met her. You’re angry at yourself for caring so much, because you’re as fucked up as you were when dad died and that’s just wrong, isn’t it? Because she wasn’t... she was...

 

It’s a dull Tuesday afternoon and you’re walking down the street when your head finally catches up to your heart. You’re standing in the middle of the sidewalk, the rush of New Yorkers elbowing around you, and you don't know if you can make another step.

 

 

 


End file.
